How to Connect With People (8 Easy Steps)

If you’re looking to grow in connection with people in a deeper and more meaningful way, we’re here to help. Whether it’s nerves or just not knowing what to say that stops you from connecting with others, here at The Adventure Challenge we’ve got you covered.

There’s nothing like taking risks and building friendships with others to encourage wholeness, connection, and growth. To help you get started on your journey, here is our list of 8 easy steps to help you connect with people!

Step #1: Be Present to Connect With People

The number one step to any good connection is simply being present. Being present looks like paying attention to the people around you and saying no to distractions. If you’re constantly on your phone or thinking about something else, then you’re not paying attention to the people around you and how you can connect with them.

A group of five friends having fun with powdered paint in autumn

Being present looks like being engaged during a conversation or allowing yourself to feel the mood of the moment. It allows you to become more aware of what others are feeling and thinking. By simply being present you’ll be able to relate and connect to those around you in a deeper way!

Step #2: Keep Eye Contact to Connect With People

Eye contact is a major key when it comes to connecting with people. Ten out of ten times, maintaining eye contact with others results in a deeper sense of connection.

We know it may be tempting to look away but try to make and maintain eye contact the next time you have a conversation. Eye contact works a lot like a conversation, it ebbs and flows. Too much of it is not a good thing, but the right amount of it, and now you’re talking!

Step #3: Be Genuine to Connect with People

It can be tempting to go along with the flow, to pretend to agree or like something you don’t really like in order to connect with people, but that’s not actually the way to create real friendships. People can’t connect with the real you if you’re hiding.

Group of guy friends sitting around a fire on the beach

Being genuine means telling the truth about who you are and how you’re doing instead of pretending you’re feeling something else. This honesty helps you to relate to others in an authentic way. As you relate to others in authenticity they’ll get to know and love the real you. When you are known for your true self, you can’t help but feel connected! Whether it’s in conversation or action, being genuine and authentic to yourself is a sure way to connect with people.

Step #4: Ask Good Questions to Connect With People

Asking significant questions is a great way to connect with people. Asking questions helps you get to know what people are interested in and what they find important. You’ll get to discover new and interesting things about all kinds of people when you ask good questions.

If somebody mentions something about themselves, ask them about it! For example, if someone says they work as a traveling nurse, don’t be afraid to ask them what they like or don’t like about their job. What made them want to go into that field?

A girl with her back to the camera talking to a guy who is laughing at her jokes and maintaining good eye contact with her while sitting on a cafe table and enjoying their coffee

The truth is people love to talk about themselves. You can connect with somebody you know nothing about just by asking questions, so get curious!

Here are a few questions to ask to help get started:

What was your favorite song or movie growing up?
What’s important to you?
What’s one thing you’re grateful for?
If you could do anything for a day - expenses paid - what would it be?

You’ll learn so much just by asking quality questions and you’ll make others feel known when you do. If you’re looking for some out of the box ideas to get you started, check out our Friend’s Edition Scratch-Off Adventure Book and blog “How to Have a Healthy Relationship” for more inspiration!

Step #5: Use Humor to Connect With People

Laughter brings us together. Show off your personality by sharing a silly story or playfully teasing a friend. Incorporating humor is a fun and easy way to connect with people!

You don’t have to be super witty or funny for this to happen. Appreciating other people’s humor helps you connect with them just as much as being the one who makes them laugh. People love to laugh at their own jokes! You can also play a game or watch a funny movie to get the laughs rolling. Don’t be afraid to be lighthearted and playful when connecting with people.

Step #6: Seek out People With Similar Interests to Connect With

We’re all about discovering differences and celebrating them, but when it comes to establishing connections with others, finding people with your same likes and dislikes can go a long way!

Silhouette of two guys standing by the beach and giving each other a high five

Seeking out people with similar interests can look like joining a team, a club, or finding people in the same faith group as you to connect with.

Whatever it is that you love, there are people out there who share that same interest, so don’t be afraid to get out there and find them! Finding people who are like-minded and share common passion is a great way to make friends.

Step #7: Take the Initiative to Connect With People

Don’t just passively wait for others to connect with you; reach out. Whether that’s inviting people to events, hosting them, or asking them to coffee, there are plenty of options for you to take the initiative and connect.

Taking the initiative is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling ways you can connect with people. Choosing to be intentional with your time, words, and actions speaks volumes to others and lets them know that you care.

Intentionality can look like setting aside quality time to spend connecting with an individual or a thoughtful text during the day to let them know they were on your mind.

When people feel cared for and intentionally sought after, they tend to relax and open up more easily. This openness will make room for more connection, fun, and enjoyable time spent connecting together!

If you’re looking for more ways to invest in your connection with others, check out our blog How to Prioritize Investing in Relationships (and Yourself) to see just how much connection, intentionally brings.

A girl talking to her friend and his family via Facetime

Step #8: Listen For What’s Under the Surface to Connect With People

Behind every good conversation is a great listener, and inside every great listener is the desire to dive deeper and get to know someone better. Actively listening for what’s under the surface is a sure way to do just that.

Taking the time to actively listen can look like asking how someone’s day is really going or how they actually feel. Diving into deeper topics is one of the best ways to discover what’s under the surface and connect with people in a real way. When people listen to each other beyond the normal facade, they gain a better understanding of one another, and this understanding leads to stronger connections.