Date night can be a powerful way to reconnect with your partner, but even the best intentions sometimes fall flat. After six years of helping couples create unforgettable date nights, we’ve noticed some common mistakes that often turn a romantic evening into a missed opportunity. From the classic “what do you want to do?” dilemma to falling into the “same old, same old” rut, these are the pitfalls that can sabotage a date. Discover our top tips to overcome these obstacles so you can create meaningful, memorable evenings together—without the stress.

#1 The “what do you want to do?” dilemma

Do you always wait until date night starts to decide what to do? Spoiler: indecision is a romance killer.

Not making a plan in advance can doom your date night to failure before it starts. For some couples, spontaneity is exciting, but for others, it can create an anxious loop of indecision, especially if you have different decision making processes. Make a loose plan of what you’ll do for date night ahead of time to help avoid frustration and keep the focus on each other. It’ll feel so good to roll into date night with ease.

The Challenge: Make a list of your top 5 favorite date night activities together. Include experiences that feel meaningful, fun, and connecting for both of you. Use this list as a go-to whenever you feel stuck or aren’t sure what to do.

Note: If you're tired of date night indecision, check out our scratch-off adventure books for couples! 

#2 Third wheels and buzzkills

 It’s simple, quit trying to have a date night with your children (and/or roommates) underfoot. 

Nothing kills the vibe like third, fourth, and fifth wheelers, no matter how much you love them. Plan for babysitters as often as you can and/or pick hangout spots where your roommates won’t be able to insert themselves into your couples paint night and drink all the wine. Your partner will thank you :)

The Challenge:  For your next date, pick a location as free from outside distractions (and distractors) as possible. If an at-home date night is your MO, get a babysitter and go out. If you usually go to a restaurant, have a picnic in a quiet spot instead. Notice how your experience of date night changes!

#3 Dating your phone and not your partner

 Our phones are little dopamine hits at our fingertips, like hard drugs but less life threatening. 

As tempting as it is to scroll on social media or check up on your fantasy football league, constantly checking your phone can make your partner feel ignored or just disconnected. Try turning notifications off and setting your phones aside. You could even do a "phone-free" date and leave them behind completely to focus on staying present to the moment. In addition to making your partner feel prioritized and loved, chances are you’ll also feel more grounded and present to the moment!

The Challenge: Plan a "phone-free" date where you both leave your phones completely behind! If that's not possible, minimize distractions by turning on Do Not Disturb mode. You can still allow important notifications to come through, while keeping the focus on each other.

#4 Mismatched expectations and dashed dreams

You might not always want the same things for date night and that’s OK.

Maybe you just need to have a conversation in advance about what you’re expecting for the night and/or how you’d like to connect. Do you need to laugh and just have fun? Or are you looking for some deep talk over drinks or dessert? Meet in the middle where you can or take turns prioritizing each other’s wants and needs. Being different can be a strength when you put the work in!

The Challenge: Take turns planning date nights for each other! One of you plan this week’s date with your partner's preferences in mind, and the next time, switch roles. You’ll both get to experience something you love, planned by your person!

#5 The “same old same old” rut 

Watching Netflix together one night a week does NOT in fact count as date night.

Experts say that regularly having new experiences together helps keep the romantic spark alive. Even if you’re just checking out a new restaurant, try to shake things up regularly. Then, occasionally do an activity that’s really out of your ordinary like singing a duet at a karaoke bar or learning how to cook octopus at home. A little bit of novelty goes a long way!

The Challenge: Go on a date for this week that’s totally outside your norm! Pick something neither of you has done before—take a dance class or try a new hobby.  The goal is for BOTH of you to feel outside of your comfort zones!

#6 You can’t have a wine and cheese night without the wine and cheese

No one wants to make a last minute trip to the store when all you want to do is unwind. 

Get whatever supplies you may need in advance so you can focus on each other and your connection or, opt for an activity that you already have everything you need on hand for. Bake cookies, play a game of sock wrestling, or create a joint playlist of songs you’ve both been loving lately. Simplicity is a winning recipe.

The Challenge: Come up with one creative date night using supplies you ALREADY have on hand. It could be a game, a craft, or a way to connect. Feel free to use the internet (or your adventure challenge books/card packs) for inspo! Put your date idea in your back pocket for the next time you need one or go for it this week!

#7 The “I’m too tired” trap

If you regularly skip date night because you’re too busy, too tired, or just unmotivated, this one’s for you. 

The temptation is real, especially if your job is stressful or you have a bunch of children sucking the energy out of you like adorable little leeches. Chances are if you push past whatever obstacles are standing in your way, you’ll have an amazing time together and will be glad that you took time to connect with your favorite person in the midst of everything.

The Challenge: Next time you’re feeling too tired to go on a date, commit to just 30 minutes of connection. Whether that’s a walk around the block or going to get some smoothies, do something that requires at least a little effort. (Our Mini Dates card pack is a great option!) If you’re still feeling drained after 30 mins, call it a night. But if you’re having fun, see where the night takes you! 

Whatever you and your significant other struggle with most when it comes to date night, we hope you found something helpful to inspire more fun and connection between you. If you want more ideas for incredible dates, check out our best-selling couples books and card packs that have helped 3 million couples worldwide grow closer!