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What to do in a new relationship - 10 Things to keep in mind

Falling in love is an amazing feeling! You might be floating on air, certain that nothing could ever mess this up. Or you could be feeling anxious; you want to do everything right. Whatever it is that you’re feeling, there are a few things you can do at the beginning of a new relationship that will deepen your connection, help you get into healthy patterns, and prevent you from running into roadblocks down the line. We’ve put together a list of 10 things to do in a new relationship to help you have the best relationship possible!

#1 - Share Your Worlds

In relationships, people tend towards one of two extremes: they either dive head-first into their partner’s world, slipping right into their friend-groups and learning about all their interests, or they pull their significant other into their life. A healthy relationship is one where you blend both of your worlds together into something new. So one of the most important things to do in a new relationship is to show your partner your interests and to learn about theirs. 

Couple smiling at each other while sharing a glass of wine, with the girl sitting on the kitchen counter and the guy is standing next to her

#2 - Discover Your Love Languages

All of us show love in different ways, and we all receive love uniquely. Making sure that you and your new partner are getting your needs met is a learning curve in a new relationship. You might need to learn new ways to show affection. Learning each other’s love languages is a really helpful way to cut out painful misunderstandings and keep that honeymoon stage glow for as long as possible.

#3 - Preserve Independence and Space

When you’re falling in love, it’s normal to want to spend every single spare second with your new flame. We’ve all been there! But one of the best things to do in a new relationship if you want it to last for the long haul is to keep some space just for yourself. Have hobbies you pursue without your partner, and make sure you still make time for your friendships. This is going to keep you healthy and balanced. A little space can make the time you spend together that much sweeter. You know what they say about what absence does to the heart!

Girl carrying her surfboard on the beach, looking over at the ocean

#4 - Get Really Honest

One of the most important things to do in a new relationship is to transition from the best-foot-forward, ideal-version-of-yourself stage of dating into the reality of a relationship. No relationship is going to last if you can’t be honest about yourself, your past, your fears, and what you really want.

#5 - Examine Your Assumptions 

Every time we enter a new relationship, we bring a pile of assumptions and expectations with us. We form these assumptions from past experiences of dating and from the way we’ve seen relationships unfold around us, but here’s the thing: everyone’s assumptions are different. How much should you text throughout the day? How much commitment does going on vacation together mean? Is it okay to keep in touch with exes? You might think the answer to these questions (and many others) is obvious, but that’s the point. Until you actually talk about the assumptions you bring into a new relationship, you can’t be sure that you’re on the same page.

#6 - Clarify Expectations

This is the natural follow up to the previous point; don’t leave things up in the air. Sometimes the best connection isn’t ‘just knowing’ what’s on the other person’s mind: sometimes the best connections are formed by being willing to ask questions and communicate about expectations. Doing this early on will save you a lot of misunderstandings down the road.

Couple smiling at each other and sharing a toast with their coffee cups while sitting at a cafe table

#7 - Look for Red Flags

No one likes to think about this - and when you’re wrapped up in how amazing your new partner is, alarm bells can be pretty hard to hear at all. There’s no need to be cynical when you’re getting into a new relationship, but don’t ignore red flags. Be open to see your partner as they really are, not as how you dream them to be.

#8 - Keep Having Fun

There are some serious conversations to have at the beginning of a new relationship for sure, but that shouldn’t be all of it! One of the best parts of a new relationship is how incredibly fun it is. Fun is just as important as the super romantic or the ultra serious stuff! We think it’s so important, in fact, that we’ve come up with a book of 50 out-of-the-box date ideas to help you have fun with your loved ones.

A group of friends smile and laugh together as they're about to go mountain trekking


#9 - Meet Each Other’s Friends

They’re the ones who have got you through countless ups and downs, who have coached you through breakups and been with you from the beginning - your friends are a crucial part of your life, and if your new relationship is going to be around to stay, you need to know that your partner can have fun with them. Plus, seeing your significant other with their own friends is going to tell you so much about them! Meeting each other’s friends is a super important thing to do in a new relationship to help you get to know one another.

#10 - Think Big Picture

When you start dating someone, it’s tempting to enjoy the moment and take things one day at a time. Nothing wrong with this! When you start a new relationship, one of the best things you can do is be open about your dreams. Where are you hoping to go in life? What are your goals? Talking about the big picture of your different lives is not only going to help you grow closer, it’s also going to ensure that you know you’re both heading in the same direction.

Starting a New Relationship

Everything on this list is going to help you to settle into your new relationship and ensure that you’re preventing misunderstandings and conflict down the line, but don’t stress out about ticking everything off. Embarking on a new relationship is such an exciting time; the important thing is to lean in and enjoy the ride!

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Couple having fun while playing a shooting game at the fair; image overlaid with text that reads 10 most important things to do in a new relationship